As I try to relate, my only struggle is that my professional work as software engineer, which is necessary to sustain our family life in Paris that we love, feels more like something I have to do rather than something flowing from my heart and core. I try sometimes to work with my heart, but at the end of the day, I would not do that job if there were no paychecks as incentive.
I guess this is not a tension to resolve but rather a paradox to feel and embrace. My creating software is a way to love my colleagues and customers, but also my wife, children and friends who are nourished by the life I can create through these paychecks.
One of the things I've been sitting with in meditation is letting myself be in the desire for something different, while also feeling the heartbreak of what is. When I'm able to feel both fully, I access a state of yearning, where any sense of tension or struggle gets dissolved — because I'm in full acceptance of both my desire and my heartbreak.
If you're open to an experiment, I'd be curious what happens for you if you let yourself fully feel your desire to have work that flows from your heart and core AND the heartbreak that your job isn't that right now. Both are true, and both are beautiful.
Thank you Edmond. This reminds me of the buddhist principles of non-duality. Transcending the either/or and embrace the both/and. I will try this experiment, starting today. Thank you for your wise and deep advice sir.
Thank you for again some beautiful writing.
As I try to relate, my only struggle is that my professional work as software engineer, which is necessary to sustain our family life in Paris that we love, feels more like something I have to do rather than something flowing from my heart and core. I try sometimes to work with my heart, but at the end of the day, I would not do that job if there were no paychecks as incentive.
I guess this is not a tension to resolve but rather a paradox to feel and embrace. My creating software is a way to love my colleagues and customers, but also my wife, children and friends who are nourished by the life I can create through these paychecks.
I love your pointing to it as a paradox.
One of the things I've been sitting with in meditation is letting myself be in the desire for something different, while also feeling the heartbreak of what is. When I'm able to feel both fully, I access a state of yearning, where any sense of tension or struggle gets dissolved — because I'm in full acceptance of both my desire and my heartbreak.
If you're open to an experiment, I'd be curious what happens for you if you let yourself fully feel your desire to have work that flows from your heart and core AND the heartbreak that your job isn't that right now. Both are true, and both are beautiful.
Thank you Edmond. This reminds me of the buddhist principles of non-duality. Transcending the either/or and embrace the both/and. I will try this experiment, starting today. Thank you for your wise and deep advice sir.